chit chat

For a really long time i was an over-sharer. If someone asked me a question I'd give them a response followed up with enough supporting information to write a book with. I have this way of thinking where the details and back-story really impact the main point of a story, so I'd go waay back to the beginning...every time.

Well, obviously this was not only super annoying to my listeners who were hoping for a reasonable answer to the question  "where'd you go to college", but I realized that I wasn't learning anything from the people I was meeting. After a half hour conversation with someone they'd know where I was born and how my parents met but I wouldn't even know where they worked or where they were headed that day. I figured that descriptive story telling was a flaw in my personality. So, I stopped doing it. For the most part anyway.

Now I try very hard to listen and give short answers. I don't offer up a whole lot of information about myself or my family (unless I've been drinking or I'm in a super bad mood.) I mean, I bitch at home to my husband about family annoyances or whatever, but I guess my gripes are pretty minimal when talking to other people. I recently realized this because I was having lunch with a client and I started talking about my family, due to the need for conversation topics. Although I don't like the comparative style conversations where you counter everything with "Oh, I did that..", there is a certain point where you have to be able to relate to someone. She client was discussing some family/life stuff and, in an effort to sympathize, I did some divulging.
All my talking gave her a chance to eat her lunch, but I felt a little stupid by the end because I'd indulged my personality flaw. To my surprise she thanked me. She said it was nice to hear about my family and the dumb stuff...it made her feel like her life wasn't so unusual.

I guess that my outward appearance conveys a sense of normalcy...not that it's not normal but I guess people don't know where I'm coming from. I don't talk about things that bother me or get me heated because no one wants to see all that...but I guess I'm being pretty surface-y sometimes. I don't know, it could just be that I don't know this client very well and although we've known each other for a while we aren't super personal with each other.

I don't know, but either way it made me think.