incredibly nervous

this little squish has me incredibly nervous! I don't remember being like this with julia. that was so long ago though I'm not sure I'd remember even if I was. I keep getting pushed off by medical people and won't have an appointment for another 2.5 weeks. That'll be over 5 weeks since my last appointment, where the midwife didn't so much as even shake my hand. Everything I read (i realize i should not be reading shit off the web) says to contact your doctor or go to the er for anything...but I'm not paying hundreds of dollars for piece of mind. I'm most afraid that it's something bad and my pain threshold is so high that I won't feel cramping or anything. I'm not sure what my pain tolerance is since julia's birth was so controlled. I'm so sick of being nervous and emotional about all this. Can't i just have a normal experience, please?

5 minutes

why is it that it's impossible to get 5 minutes without an interruption at work? i've lingered until everyone is gone to talk to the insurance broker about a sensitive issue and i swear every 15 seconds i had a new person in there lingering around. one co-worker went so far as to literally sit down next to us to have her turn.

is it not implied that if two people are sitting in a room talking quietly that maybe it's not a public thing. i know i'd peek my head in and then go back to my desk and check again later.
of course the broker didn't' have the answer to my question anyway. but for christ's sake. i get that the broker is only here for a short period of time and i'm not the only person who wants a little confidential session...but people were just waltzing in and pulling the broker away from what we were doing. she even said at one point, i hope we can not be interrupted since i kind of have to concentrate to get these numbers correctly.

inconsiderate behavior drives me nuts. plus i'm in a shitty mood today and don't feel fantastic. dealing with insurance sucks and it's even more difficult when you can't get your information squared away properly.

christmas season

YAY! It's Christmas season :) I can't wait to get the tree this weekend and decorate everything. I should really start thinking about gifts for everyone. Looks like I'm about to get my online shopping on :)