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i'm feeling crappy today. i had a conversation last night with my man about how i'm not being very helpful at him cultivating a parental authority with my daughter. he says i interrupt when he's parenting and he finds it so frustrating that he would rather not try. he says he can't make any decisions or have the final say. i said i was trying and that i'm just worried that my daughter will not like him because he has a very harsh tone when he's 'parenting' and it comes off as always scolding and not guiding her to solutions.
i asked for help. how can you help me not do this, i asked. he had no ideas/suggestions/comments. it's a personal problem that he made clear he wasn't interested in helping me solve.
i have feelings. parental feelings are indescribable and i don't think he has in interest in trying to understand what that means when i tell him. sometimes i feel like he thinks he's such a know-it-all. he just doesn't know what it's like to be so emotionally attached to someone like i am with my daughter. he doesn't know what it's like to be 8 years old with a step-parent or a broken home. he doesn't know what it feels like to have a responsibility to an ex-spouse. he is exposed to these things through me, and experiences some of it but to FEEL these emotions is beyond him. i don't think he puts a lot of stock in emotions and feelings and sees me as impractical in how i deal with certain things. i don't think that he wants to really listen to me sometimes and understand where i'm coming from. this sucks. if i'm not managing the household or working i'm mothering, coordinating with the ex, making love time for my man an making sure no one gets their feelings hurt, overlooked, misunderstood or forgotten. i don't think he realizes what i do and how emotionally taxing it is sometimes.